Dear Nae,

Disclaimer: This is kind of my annual birthday post so I'm going to talk about myself a LOT. BUT this whole post is also dedicated to YOU, so I'll try my best to make it balanced (somehow).

I've said it many times, definitely more than I could remember, that I really don't want to make anything special about my birthday (now we're talking about hypocrisy since I literally make a whole damn essay about my birthday each year). But seriously, the idea of "special days" doesn't sit well with me.

I'm still struggling to organize my thoughts about this since I don't usually think (ExFx right here), but here's what I have in mind:

Gue agak kurang setuju sama hari-hari yang menjadi spesial karena adanya konteks waktu sehingga rasanya hari itu harus jadi spesial. Kayak ... gue kurang setuju deh kalo suatu hari jadi spesial because what had happened on that day, instead of what happens on that day. Ulang tahun, salah satunya. You're turning one year older, terus kenapa?

What makes a day special, anyway?

The expectation and expectancy for that day to be special is just burdening for me.

Tapi setelah dipikir-pikir (which I don't usually do often) what I said is just insensitive, in a way that it has the potential to invalidate what others might feel about their special days. It's not and never was my intention, so I humbly apologize for it. 

But then on July 14th, I got a sweet message from a very dear friend of mine, and honestly? It felt good. I felt great. And let's be real. When the situation is switched, I want my special someone to feel special too on her/his special day.

And your birthday is a special day because it was the day you were born, and how the stars aligned, and now here we are.

Dear Nae,

I really have no idea where it's going but first, thank you. You've been nothing but a really great friend to me! You're my person, as always have been. Kalo gue disuruh bikin list TOP 10 orang-orang yang akan gue undang di pernikahan (kalo gue nikah), lo pasti salah satunya. 

Gue belum sempet bales email lo and I'm sorry!!! Definitely not my proudest moment, but to be honest, I've tried so many times and decided to give up along the way. Replying to your message is impossible. I just can't seem to find the right words. (What's wrong with me???????)

On this birthday, I wish you nothing but a piece of peace. 24 may sound big and scary, but please don't worry. I know you're a fuckin rock star, you're going to nail this life. I just know it. Whatever path you choose, I know it will be worth a journey. It might not always be filled with flowers, but Grand Canyon is just a fucking piece of rock and it's still majestic. Now I digress.

The point is, I don't know what you're going through right now since we barely talk to each other (not that I mind, it's totally okay), but you know I will always be available if you want to talk shit about a shitty day. I'm just a chat away, okay?

I'm so fucking proud of you! Happy 24, you old girl!!

We have to meet up as soon as possible!!

LOve youuuuuuu!!