11 pm thoughts

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I can't say that I love my job. I mean, it's not entirely bad. But after a while, I felt like I stopped growing. You know what I mean?

One of the responsibilities I have in this job is to build and maintain good rapport with the parents/caretakers of my students. It's manageable most of the time since I love talking with people in general. But it can be dreadful (to the point that you'll have no idea). Sometimes they can be annoying, obnoxious, entitled, homophobic, racist, you name it.

Today, though. I talked with Uma (we will call her that). It's inspiring and insightful, and I was genuinely interested in our conversation. She made me realize how important it was to have plans and targets, but also, be kind to yourself in the process. I've heard it so many times, maybe more than needed. But Uma made it so simple, believable, and feasible. 

Reflecting on our conversation, right now I almost have no willpower or passion to live my life. Every day is just another day passing by and suddenly it's already the last week of September. I mean, I've always been following the flow of life, but these days, I think I'm way too relaxed. I'm scared. Is it what they called the calm before the storm? I can't live like this forever.

So, this is my plan: I will finish my TKA this semester. No matter what. Then I'm going to escape Cibinong and find that willpower to live my life again. Sounds good?

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